How I Gained My Testimony and Why I Still Believe
Carol
Morrison
When Brother Morrison told me that the Bishop
had invited us to speak in Sacrament Meeting I told him that I wanted to
decline the invitation, but he wouldn’t let me get away with that. So, here I
am. We were asked to speak on the topic,
“How I Gained My Testimony and Why I Still Believe.”
I
was born in the Church. My parents were active members of the Church and I have
pioneer ancestors on both sides of my family. My great-great-grandfather, John
Watkins, joined the Church in England and crossed the plains with the Martin
and Willie’s handcart companies. After arriving in Salt Lake, he and his family
came to Provo where he was in charge of most of the construction of the old
Provo Tabernacle.
My
great-great-grandfather Sonderegger spent years helping build the Salt Lake
Temple. For ten years, he got up every Monday and walked from Midway, where he
lived with his family, to Salt Lake where he worked on the temple. When the
week’s work was done he hiked back to spend time with his family. In the
meantime his wife and children worked the farm. My father calculated once how
many miles he walked and it would be about 48,000 miles. That’s like walking around the world twice!
However,
although I was born in the covenant and have faithful pioneer ancestors, I am
also a convert to the Church, because each of us must come to know for
ourselves that the Church is true. This process of conversion didn’t take place
all at once, but gradually over the course of many years. I will share with you
some of the experiences I had during that time.
My
earliest spiritual memory is very distinct, although it took place when I was
only 4 or 5 years old. I was very ill at the time. I don’t know what I had but
I do know that I had a raging fever and my parents were very concerned. I
remember lying on our living room couch with what felt like a hundred blankets
piled on top of me so that I could, in my father’s words, “sweat it out.” I
felt like I was literally burning up. I asked my father for a priesthood
blessing. He called a neighbor and they laid their hands on my head, anointed
me with oil, and asked the Lord to heal me. I don’t remember the words that
were said, but I do remember the feeling of their hands on my head and the
power of the priesthood that I felt as the fever left my body and I was healed.
I knew that my father held the priesthood and that my Heavenly Father had heard
his prayer in my behalf.
At
that time we lived in a subdivision at the top of a hill in Orem. My parents
owned a six-acre farm that extended from our backyard down the hill to a
three-room home that my father was adding onto. We had a few cows, a few sheep,
a pig or two, and some chickens. One of our chores was to walk down the hill
and gather the eggs. One day when my sister, Kathy, was about 4 and I was about
5 it was our turn to gather eggs. We walked down the hill, collected the eggs
in a bucket, played around for a while, and then decided we’d better get home.
We didn’t know that when we closed the door to the chicken coop the wooden
latch that served as a lock had slipped down and we were locked in! We banged
on the door and shouted for help! We climbed onto the roost and I boosted Kathy
up hoping she could climb out of the hole in the roof. No luck! We shouted some
more and then we began to cry. Finally, we knelt down on the dirty floor of
that old chicken coop and asked Heavenly Father to help us get out. Minutes
later our mother walked down the hill and opened the door, rescuing two very
grateful little girls. Years later, I asked my mom if she had just thought we’d
been gone too long and come looking for us. She said that she had been prompted
by the Holy Ghost to go and find us. Heavenly Father had answered our prayer through
a mother who heeded the promptings of the Spirit.
When
I was eleven we moved to Los Gatos, California, where my father was called as a
Stake missionary. I had several opportunities to serve as his companion when
another missionary was unable to go. We had the missionaries over for dinner
often and many lessons were taught in our home. At the baptism of one of my
sister’s good friends I was asked to play the piano. This was terrifying to me
because I always made mistakes when I played in public but what I remember
about that night was not whether or not I made mistakes but telling my father
on they way home, “I know now what the hymn means when it says, ‘The Spirit of
God like a fire is burning’ because that’s how I feel tonight.”
The
years we lived in California were a time of political, racial, and social
unrest in our country. There were demonstrations across the nation against the Vietnam War and for racial equality. Haight-Ashbury, an
hour’s drive from where we lived was the seedbed of the hippie movement. Our
beliefs were challenged on the playground, in the classroom, and by the media.
I was a teenager, so these were years of personal unrest as well. Just as I
remember distinctly some of my first spiritual memories, I also remember the
first time I seriously questioned my own beliefs. I was in a 7th
grade World Civilizations class and our very engaging, very articulate teacher
had just explained the Theory of Evolution. I went home in tears. My mom could
tell that something was bothering me and asked what had happened. After I told
her, I was surprised that she had heard about evolution and it didn’t seem to
bother her at all! She calmly said, “ We know that God created the world but we
don’t know what processes He used.” Her answer didn’t totally satisfy me, but
the strength of her testimony was assuring.
The
summer before my senior year in High School my father accepted a teaching
position at Ricks College. This was a very difficult time for me to move
because I was leaving behind good friends (including my boyfriend). Several of
my friends’ parents offered to let me stay with them and finish out my senior
year, which was very tempting. My wise parents encouraged me to fast and pray
and get my own answer as to what I should do. This experience is so clear in my
mind that I even remember what I was wearing as I knelt to ask my Father in
Heaven to let me know what I should do. The answer came to me very clearly in
words that I heard in my mind and felt in my heart. I knew that I should move
with my family. Although it was still very difficult to leave, because of the
answer I received, I was able to move on and start a new school year with
confidence that I was where I should be.
It
was while attending Ricks College that I gained a testimony of the Book of
Mormon. I had started reading the Book of Mormon several times but had never
finished it until I was required to read and answer questions for a Book of
Mormon class. As I read more carefully and completely than ever before I felt a
spirit of peace in my life. I remember one day standing on a windy hill in
Rexburg, silently asking my Father in Heaven for a witness of the truthfulness
of this book when the words came into my mind and were felt in my heart, “This
book is true.”
I
would like to share with you five reasons I still believe. First of all:
Experience teaches me that the principles of the gospel are true.
When I was younger
I sometimes thought of commandments mostly in terms of the “Thou shalt nots.”
Not just, “Thou shalt not kill,” and “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” but
also, “Thou shalt not wear thy skirts too short,” “Thou shalt not watch R-rated
movies,” “Thou shalt not sleep longer than is needful,” etc. Sometimes it felt
like, “Thou shalt not have any fun.” But time and experience have taught me
that the commandments are blessings in our lives.
I’ll
share just one experience when keeping the commandments blessed my life and
strengthened my testimony of gospel principles. After Tim finished the
coursework for his PhD at the University of Illinois, he took a one-year
position at what is now SUU while a faculty member was on sabbatical. The
following year he took a position at
Fresno State University in California. Tim spent most of that interim summer in
Illinois working on his dissertation and doing his oral defense while our two
older boys and I stayed with my parents.
We had budgeted our money so that we could get through the summer, move
to California, and make it till Tim got his first paycheck in October. It was a
long summer with some very unexpected
events. I won’t go into all the details, because that would be another whole
talk, but these events necessitated using up much of our savings. Fortunately,
the University was going to reimburse us for our moving expenses.
Unfortunately, they didn’t reimburse us until almost Christmas, so we were
really hurting financially. We hocked some of our books as well as a coin
collection I’d had since I was a child and we were eating out of our meager
food storage. Because we hadn’t had a
home ward all summer we needed to pay some tithing. We also needed to register
our car because we were getting parking tickets. We had enough money to do one
or the other, but not both. We discussed it and knew we should pay our tithing.
This was a tough decision, because we really would be down to no cash, and we
had two little boys to feed. I know it doesn’t always happen this way, but the
day after we paid our tithing we received a check in the mail for the exact
amount we had paid in tithing! Some might think this was a coincidence, but we
knew that it was one of the Lord’s tender mercies.
There’s
a scripture in D&C 59:4 that I love. It says in part, “And they shall also
be crowned with blessings from above, yea, and with commandments not a few...”
Rather than being just a list of “Thou shalt nots,” the commandments are a
blessing in our lives because they help us make difficult decisions in ways
that will bring us joy and peace. The second reason I still believe is that:
I belong to a worldwide community of Saints.
Tim and I moved
thirteen times in the first eighteen years we were married. Several of these
were from one region of the country to another. Each time, we immediately
became part of a caring community of saints. When we moved to Illinois for Tim
to start his PhD, we began unloading our moving van into a third-floor student
apartment. The apartment was small, dirty, and had no air-conditioning. The
weather was probably in the 90’s and so was the humidity! We were hot, tired,
and homesick. As we unloaded the truck, two tall, gangly guys strode across the
parking lot and asked if we needed help. They were members of the Elders’
Quorum in our ward and had been watching for us. We hadn’t contacted the Bishop
for help, but our records had been sent and they had been looking for us! After
helping us unload our truck, one of the brethren invited us to his home for
lunch. I will never forget their kindness! We have moved a number of times
since then and have always felt welcomed by a community of caring saints.
The
principles of the gospel have helped us raise our children and the organization
of the Church has given us wonderful, caring adults who have taught our
children in Primary, Sunday School and the Young Men’s Program. They have served
as role models for our children, shared testimony with them, and loved them. As
we have served in the Church in many capacities we have formed wonderful
friendships with people we would have otherwise never known. These saints have
not only been our friends, but have mentored us in living a Christ-centered
life.
This leads me to a third reason why
I still believe:
The Church and the gospel have helped me become a better person than I
would otherwise be.
A
number of years ago I sat in the Boise temple waiting for the endowment session
to start. It was during the day so my children were at school and Tim was at
work. As I glanced around the room, most of those in the session that day were
white-haired. However, on the front row sat a young man with the physical
traits of Down’s syndrome. I thought, “What a wonderful thing to belong to an
organization where we are all needed, from the youngest Sunbeam giving her
first talk in Primary, to this young man serving in the temple despite his
handicap, to these faithful, white-haired temple patrons. All of us are given
opportunities to grow and to serve.”
Sometimes,
like today, a paid clergy sounds like a really
good idea to me. But a lay ministry is one of the geniuses of the Church and
another evidence to me of the prophetic calling of Joseph Smith. As we prepare
and give talks, lessons, and Family Home Evenings our own knowledge and
testimony of the gospel are strengthened. As we bear testimony to others, the
Spirit witnesses anew to our own souls that the gospel is true. As we serve
others and serve with others, eternal
relationships are formed which bring us joy and help us become better people.
As Eugene England said in, “Why the Church is as True as the Gospel":
Church
involvement teaches us compassion and patience as well as
courage
and discipline. It makes us responsible for the personal and
marital,
the physical and spiritual welfare of people we may not already
love
(may even heartily dislike), and thus we learn to love them. It
stretches
and challenges us, even when we are disappointed and
exasperated,
in ways we would not otherwise choose to be stretched
and
challenged. Thus it gives us a chance to be better than we may have chosen to
be—but need and ultimately want
to be.
Part
of what helps us become better people than we would otherwise be and a fourth
reason I believe is that:
Making and keeping sacred covenants brings peace and joy.
Robert
S. Wood who served for more than thirteen years as a General or Area Authority
of the Church and is currently serving as president of the Boston Temple tells
this story:
Some
years ago I had lunch with a prominent humanitarian leader.
He
had come to the headquarters of the Church . . . to discover how
the
Church accomplished so effectively its many missions, particularly
welfare
and humanitarian assistance. One of those leaders said, “We
can
give you an organizational chart, but it won’t do you any good. The
answer to your inquiry lies over
there.” He pointed out the window to
the
Salt Lake Temple. “In there, we are taught the fundamental purpose
of
life and commit ourselves to give all we have to follow Christ and to
bring
forth a good and just society.” The visitor commented that he could
see
that such success was not due to the organization or the resources
of
the Church, but to the beliefs and character of its people.
Several
years ago, Tim and I had the wonderful experience of directing a semester
abroad for Elementary Education majors in New Zealand. We grew to love the
girls we worked with and the people of New Zealand. The members of the Church
there were such good examples to us
of saints striving to keep their covenants. Just one example of this was the
Bishop of our ward in New Zealand. Bishop Tangi loaned us his van several times
so that we could take the girls to visit various parts of the island. When we worried
about inconveniencing him he said, “This is not my van. It belongs to the Lord and you are welcome to use it
whenever you like.” We were truly humbled by this good man’s generosity and his
willingness to commit his all to
follow the Savior and to serve others.
I
see this desire to keep covenants here in our ward as I witness members of the
Bishopric with demanding professional and personal lives spend many hours each
week loving, serving, and praying for the members of our ward. I see busy young
people who are going to school, working, and dating giving many hours to
prepare lessons, attend the temple, serve as ward, quorum and Relief Society leaders,
do their home and visiting teaching, and render many other acts of quiet
service.
My
brother was recently released from serving as the Bishop of his ward. He has
spent most of the last twelve years serving faithfully first as a counselor and
then as Bishop of his ward. Two weeks after his release he was called to serve
in the Nursery and has served just as faithfully there as he did as Bishop.
Covenant
keeping brings peace, joy, and purpose to living.
There
are many reasons why I still believe, but the last one I will share today is
that:
The
Spirit has witnessed to me that the gospel is true.
I
know that the Book of Mormon is true. I feel peace when I read from its pages.
I know that our Father in Heaven is real, that He loves us, and that He hears
and answers our prayers in the time and the way that is best for our growth. I
know that Jesus Christ lives and that He is our Savior and Redeemer. I have
received a very personal witness that this is true. I know that Joseph Smith is
the prophet chosen to restore the gospel in its fullness and that we have
prophets and apostles who lead the Church today. I know that I am a better
person than I would be without the teachings of the gospel and I am grateful
for the peace and joy that it gives to me and to my family. I am grateful for
the privilege that Tim and I have of rubbing shoulders with you and learning
from your examples and I want you to know that we love and pray for you.
How I Gained My Testimony and Why I Still Believe
Tim Morrison
In
the late 1940s and early 1950s, the iconic radio newsman, Edward R. Murrow,
instituted a feature called “This I Believe.” In these segments individuals,
some well known and others common people like you and me, shared some of the
core values and beliefs that guided their lives. National Public Radio revived
this feature in more recent years. I have listened to or read a number of these
“This I Believe” essays and I have written the beginnings of my own:
I believe that God exists and knows each of us
and loves each of us. I believe that His Son, Jesus Christ, somehow took upon
Himself our sins, pains, grief, and inadequacies. He made it possible for us to
live again after we die and made it so we can become like Him and His
father. I believe that Joseph Smith is
the prophet who was called to bring truths to the earth again in our day.
This
is a just beginning of my “This I Believe.”
My
parents joined the church after they were newly married in Washington state. My
dad had been impressed by some LDS men he had met in the Navy during the Korean
conflict, so when two missionaries came knocking on their door, they decided to
let them in. After many months of struggling to accept the experiences of
Joseph Smith as factual, they gained their own testimonies and joined the
church. As a young boy, I remember our family learning how to be Mormons.
Although my mother seemed to take to the church quite easily (as long as she
had her daily doses of Postum, and even coffee early on), I remember my dad
smoking cigarettes for some years. I also remember kind church members who were
friendly with our family and who helped out when my oldest brother at age ten
fell from a tree and was severely injured. Especially kind was our branch
president and later our bishop, Bishop Atterton, who visited our family and
gently taught us gospel principles and Mormon manners (e.g., what to wear to
church, how to greet people, and the special vocabulary of church members).
Over the years, my mother has been a source of steady love and devotion to the
church and the gospel.
My
testimony has come from the same source that all testimonies come from—the Holy
Ghost. But my testimony didn’t come all at once. Instead, in the words of Elder
Bednar, “gradually and steadily the intensity of the light increased,
and the darkness of night was replaced by the radiance of morning” (Elder
Bednar, General Conference, April 2011). I remember loving and patient Primary
and Junior Sunday School teachers and leaders. I knew that Jesus wanted me to
be a sunbeam for Him in my relationships with family and friends, and I tried
to give like the little stream recommended. I remember youth activities at Owen
Beach in Tacoma and many softball games throughout the state of Washington and
in Salt Lake City at the All-Church softball tournament. Elder Marion D. Hanks
even came to watch one of our games. My scout and athletics leaders played a
large role in keeping my testimony growing as a young man. I remember
encouraging friends from school who were not members of our church to join our
team. One of them not only joined the team, but he joined the church as well
and became one of the first missionaries to serve in Portugal. I also remember
that when I was a priest our beloved bishop, Bill Wright, was stricken with
cancer. I went to his home several Sundays with one of my fellow priests and
knelt in prayer so he could partake of the sacrament. These were sacred times
that showed me the value of the gospel in one’s life.
Over
the years I have seen the hand and face of God in the words and actions of
others in church settings. The church gives us opportunities to serve others
that we might not have without it. I think that’s partly why Eugene England
wrote that the church is as true as the gospel. I saw my mother visit Sofie
Nebeker, an elderly German woman who needed attention in her later years. I saw
my wife as a Relief Society president drive through a Midwest snowstorm to
deliver needed groceries to a sister and her family in a neighboring town. I
have seen men help strangers move their belongings into apartments and homes
with no expectation of reward or recognition. I have seen church members give
rides to others who need help. Some have helped fix cars, cut hair, included
others on sports teams, and in countless ways serve others. Many people outside
our faith do the same and with similar motivation—to serve their fellow brothers
and sisters because they are children of a loving Father in Heaven.
I
remember that when Carol and I were first married we began a tradition of
kneeling in prayer together at the end of the day. We had a simple family home
evening on the Monday of our honeymoon. Over the last almost 36 years we have
worked together on common goals, committed to the same gospel.
Although
I have seen many examples of charity that have strengthened my faith, I have
also experienced pain, grief, and doubt. My parents divorced when I was in high
school. My father left the church and two of my brothers have not been active
in the church for decades. During surgery a number of years ago, my oldest
brother suffered complications that resulted in him being unable to walk or speak
clearly for the rest of his life. One of my grandmothers was an alcoholic and
killed her abusive husband. I could go on, but you can see that it has not always
been smooth for my family and me. Life has a way of giving us opportunities to
learn and grow.
I
came across a quote from Henry Adams a number of years ago that has affected me
a great deal. It is: "Real learning is not so much the product of
reasonable thinking as it is of those illuminating moments which permanently
warp the mind" (The Education of Henry Adams). I
have thought about this quote repeatedly and have tried to identify some of
those moments in my life. I’ll share a few of them and hope that you will think
of what has shaped your own life.
Some of you know
something of the struggles we had bringing children into this world. Carol and
I had difficulty having children—we lost four boys at about the halfway point
in the pregnancies. All four were developing normally, but they were delivered
way too soon for them to survive. One thing we learned during these stressful
times is that the 20-week mark in a pregnancy is the arbitrary dividing line
between what is termed a miscarriage and what is called a stillbirth. Our first
three pregnancies had ended just before 20 weeks, so they were technically miscarriages,
and the fourth ended just after 20 weeks, so it was a stillbirth.
Just
after the heart wrenching experience at the hospital with the last pregnancy, I
called church headquarters and asked to speak to a general authority. I know
that we are counseled not to do this, but they didn’t make as big a deal of it
back then and I think the receptionist in Salt Lake sensed the stress and
concern in my voice. Soon I was speaking to Elder Ronald E. Poelman (by the way,
whose general conference talk about the church and the gospel a few years
later, in October 1984, would change my life). I explained what had been
happening to us in our pregnancies over the last four years and asked him what
to make of it. He said, There is a lot we don’t understand about how we come
into this world. We don’t know for sure when the spirit enters the body. A lot
has not been revealed to the prophet concerning this. But, he said, I don’t
think Heavenly Father would invest the time and effort in developing perfect
bodies for these four boys unless there was some eternal significance to it. As
far as I’m concerned, he concluded, you should name all four and enter them on
your personal family records. So, as a couple that had been married for just a
few years, we held a small graveside service in the Provo cemetery with our
bishop officiating. If you were to go to that cemetary today, you would see a
small headstone that was donated by strangers with the names of our first four
boys engraved on it.
A
few short years later with a little one-year-old boy, we moved to Urbana,
Illinois where I attended graduate school. Like most quality doctoral programs,
mine taught me to question things, not to accept the status quo. As I read
studies and other research reports, I was taught to carefully examine the
methods and assessment measures the researchers had used. I was encouraged to not
accept the reported results without examining the entire study and putting this
one study into context with other studies and with the entire context of the
field.
As
was true for many members of our ward, this tendency carried over into my study
of the gospel. I read a number of challenging articles and books about the
gospel during graduate school. I remember being influenced by Richard Poll’s article,
What the Church Means to People Like Me, which helped me realize that the
church is a big tent that welcomes many different kinds of people in it. I
learned that we don’t all have to see things exactly the same way. I was also
influenced by reading Sterling McMurrin’s monograph, Philosophical Foundations of
Mormon Theology, which expanded my
understanding of the nature of God exponentially. I came to understand much
more deeply the unique beliefs we have as latter-day saints about the nature of
God.
I took a course at the institute of
religion that was taught by a young man who was fellow ward member, a graduate
student, and my elders quorum president. The content of the class was LDS
doctrine and philosophy. Much of what I read in that class opened my eyes to
many historical events and teachings that I had not known before. My faith and
testimony were provoked and challenged and I even doubted some things about the
church and the gospel, but I came out if those experiences stronger. The
testimony I had as we drove out of Urbana three years later in our U-Haul van
was different than the one I had hauled in when we first arrived.
I came to understand that our
testimonies grow stronger when we dig into the deep issues of the gospel. Joseph
Smith expressed what I came to believe in this excerpt of a letter he wrote
while in Liberty Jail:
[T]he things of God are of deep
import; and time, and experience, and careful
and ponderous and solemn thoughts can only
find them out. Thy mind, O
man! if thou wilt lead a soul unto
salvation, must stretch as high as the
utmost heavens, and search into and
contemplate the darkest abyss, and the
broad expanse of eternity-thou must
commune with God. (Joseph Smith, History of The
Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-day Saints, 7 Vols., 3:295)
The philosopher, Edmund Burke, wrote
something similar: “A clear
idea is therefore another name for a little idea” (A Philosophical Enquiry
into the Origin of our Ideas of the Sublime and Beautiful,
1757).
A few years ago, when I was serving in
a YSA stake associated with BYU, Elder Robert S. Wood came to reorganize the
stake. He told of a time when he was asked to join one of the apostles to
travel to a multi-stake conference. He and an area seventy were asked to speak
on a specific topic. So, Elder Wood studied the topic deeply and when the time
came to attend the conference, he had accumulated a number of notes. At the
meeting held on the Saturday of the conference, the apostle introduced the area
seventy and Elder Wood, announcing that the area seventy would speak for 45
minutes and that Elder Wood would then be given 45 minutes to speak. The
apostle would then speak. During his presentation, Elder Wood used almost all
of his notes. Later that same day, the apostle announced the same sequence again,
that Elder Wood would have another 45 minutes to speak. He used the remainder
of the material he had studied, but had to go beyond that material to say what
came from his heart. Toward the end of the meeting, the apostle gave 30 more minutes
to Elder Wood to speak. He was now completely out of the material he had
studied and spoke from other experiences and testimony.
I think our study of the gospel is
something like this. When we take a first pass at studying a gospel topic, we may
review familiar ground. We may read scriptures that are well known to us, ones
we have used before. A second pass through the topic may take us to new
scriptures and quotes. But when we have exhausted traditional sources, we are
left to ponder and meditate and study on our own. It is then that we confront
what we really understand. This process of coming to understand gospel
principles is almost always measured in weeks, and months, and years.
I believe that our best efforts
should be used to study the things of God. Since that time, I have sought out
many things to read about the church and the gospel in an effort to stretch my
mind and solidify my faith. I have read many of the major works that have been
written about the church by both members and nonmembers over the years. I have
read scholarly articles and books about doctrines and practices in the church
and gospel. I even listened semi-regularly to a radio program called The Bible Answer Man in which the church
and its teachings were critiqued and fundamental principles of traditional
Christianity were spelled out. In doing so I have found that my faith and
testimony have changed and deepened. I have gained insights into gospel
principles that would not have been possible without this effort. In a general conference talk, Elder Neal A.
Maxwell quoted Canon Austin Farrer of the Church of England who said, “Rational
argument does not create belief, but it maintains a climate in which belief may
flourish.”
I believe that faith is not
irrational or illogical. It arises from a spiritual yearning. A person of faith
is just as capable of reason and inquiry as the most ardent adherent to
scientific reason. The gospel message can satisfy the mind, soothe the heart,
strengthen relationships, and enable all people to understand and worship God.
Elder Neil L. Anderson spoke about
the nature of our spiritual progress at general conference a few years ago: “Our
spiritual journey is the process of a lifetime. We do not know everything in
the beginning or even along the way. There are days when we feel inadequate and
unprepared, when doubt and confusion enter into our spirits, when we have difficulty
finding our spiritual footing. . . . At times, the Lord’s answer will be, ‘You
don’t know everything, but you know enough.” Perhaps at times we may be like
Nephi, who responded to the angel, “I know that he loveth his children;
nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things.”
Carol
and I have had many experiences in our lives because of who our sons are.
Because of our son, Steve, we’ve been to many art exhibitions including the
National Gallery and the Phillips Collection in Washington, DC, the
Metropolitan Museum of Art, the Guggenheim, and the Museum of Modern Art in New
York City to name some of the more prominent ones. The piece that has been most
impressive to me was Mary Cassatt’s The Boating Party. Because
of our son, Davey, we’ve been to many movies and stage productions here in Utah
and in other parts of the country. Perhaps the most memorable was a production
of Hamlet in Staunton, VA at the
Blackfriars Playhouse. Because of our son, Matt, we’ve been introduced to ideas
and thoughts that would not have come our way without him.
A few years ago Matt asked me to
read a paper he had written for a class at BYU. In it he had cited some verses
of scripture in the Book of Moses in the Pearl of Great Price that I have been
pondering ever since. Over a number of verses in chapter seven, we read about
Enoch teaching his people and helping them draw close to God. They are even
lifted to heaven. He is then given a panoramic view of the history of the
world, then sees God weep at the sight of His children turning from Him and being
unkind and even violent to each other. Enoch then says that:
and Enoch bore record of it, saying:
How is it that the heavens weep, and
shed forth their tears as the rain
upon the mountains?
29 And
Enoch said unto the Lord: How is it that thou canst weep, seeing thou
art
holy, and from all eternity to all eternity?
Enoch
knew that God had created this world and that He has attributes of perfection. He
had spent a great deal of time learning from Him, yet now He thought, how could
such a being be moved to tears?
Enoch’s
experience reveals insights about the nature of God that is contrary to most of
Christendom. We gain understandings about the passiblility of God, that God is
capable of feeling; that He is sensitive. Traditional Christianity teaches that
God is distinct from the realm of temporal imperfection. In
their teachings, God cannot possibly be implicated in or, even worse,
identified with, a created, contingent, and imperfect world. Instead of
believing that God is not capable of being influenced by His children and distant
from them, we believe in a weeping God who is affected by the actions of their
children. This understanding—that God is contingent on others—has significant
implications for our concept of who God is.
I
would like to close with some additions I have made to the “This I Believe”
statements I made at the beginning of this talk. I would like to conclude with
additional statements: I believe we should use both faith and
reason as we approach the gospel. I believe that we can gain insights into the
gospel and life that will enrich us. I believe that people are basically good.
Goodness can be found in many places and in many people. I believe that even
when life takes turns that we don’t expect or even want, we can go on—we can
learn and find good ways to respond to them. I believe that there are many
things we, and even prophets, don’t understand. I believe that through
experience and study we can gain greater insights into the gospel and how to
live a Christian life. I believe that we should treat all people the way
they wish to be treated.
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